Every once in a while, as I’m sure most humble bloggers have experienced, there is a sudden and drastic spike in my readership. To this day, unfortunately, this can be easily linked to Google searches tagging particular post titles of mine, which then, unfortunately, disproves the theory that I have finally been discovered as a brilliant writer.

And now, in the middle of May, folks all over are trying to figure out what the hell to write on their cousin’s, sister’s, aunt’s, brother’s, friend’s, lover’s, whatever’s “Congratulations on Graduating” card – so they are asking Google what to say, which, somehow, is (mis)leading a very large amount of folks here due to my post, congratulations of your graduation from your degree, which is a grammatical disaster, just in case the jury is out on anyone, anywhere. Do not get too lazy and copy this onto your card! You will be embarrassed later. I promise. But just a few days ago I got a sweet little email from a woman in the midwest who said, “I was just trying to fill out a card when I found this story. You and your brother are the best sons a mom could hope for.” Aw, shucks. And thanks.

Point is, while I’m an accidental hot ticket on Google for this graduation season I want to try my best to keep things relevant and GAY GAY OOOOH SOOO GAY. So, I’ve found a graduation commencement speech that was delivered by our leader herself, Ellen DeGeneres. It is funny, sweet and honest- Enjoy.