That is what the Seal did this morning. Yes indeed. She shit a shirt. Well, part of one. Which makes me wonder where the rest is. Time will tell, this I know.

We were at our unofficial dawgpark this morning and I was throwing a ball and she was bringing the ball back to me over and over… and over again. Just like we do every morning. And every morning, at some point in all of this terrific fetching fun, the Seal’s bowels get a little jump start on the day. Unbeknownst to her, this is actually the main purpose for this too-early-in-the-morning activity. That, and to run her little ass off so that she’ll be too tired to eat things that are not food. Like shirts.

Oh yes, the Seal has found a new interest in interior design. Her nest, as we refer to it, is in the living room and it is her favorite place to be, except for the couch, where she is not allowed. And the only way to keep her off of the couch is to put the coffee table on top of it before we go anywhere. This nest makes the Seal very happy. She spends a lot of time keeping things about it just right. She will circle around and around… and around in it, getting her blanket and stuffed animals just right before she flops down, grunts and takes a little snoozer.

But lately, for unknown reasons, she has found her nest a bit empty, a bit drab. And so, she has been taking it upon herself to decorate it while we’re away. You know, to add some pizazz, a little splash of je ne sais quoi, give it that little something to tie things together. And occasionally, as I discovered this morning, she taste tests her decorations.

To date she has tried a fair amount of décor options. We have come home to find the Seal’s nest decorated with different combinations of things like: wooden spoons, toilet paper rolls, 2 pound bags of nutritional yeast, opened up and scattered all over the fucking place, you know, for that fun yellow accenting. Dirty dishes, toothpaste, spaghetti noodles, measuring cups, coffee filter complete with used, wet grounds, for that earthy-sustainability-feel, scarves, sponges, dvd’s, various paper- turned-confetti, for that spontaneous-party-feel, a baseball hat, a bag of apple, a six pack of ginger ale, pens, hangers, dishtowels, ear plugs, bobby-pins, dirty socks, t-shirts, and on and on I could go.

Every once in a while it does look kind of nice. Cozier. And with decent color themes, which is impressive seeing as she is color blind.

A few days ago the Seal’s décor choice was so avant-garde that Violet and I both couldn’t help but to gasp when we first saw it. Kind of like that art piece that just hits you by surprise. This was followed by Violet covering her mouth, shaking her head, mumbling, “NO. No, she didn’t! How?” which really made the Seal sit up tall and proud.

The Seal’s decorating style had finally gone over the top for our taste. And I am so glad, and will forever be so glad, that we didn’t arrive home with company in tow. We came home, opened the front door and there was our proud little seal pup, tail flapping, tongue dangling, big smile, sitting in her nest amongst a variety of the previously mentioned objects and, this time, including what we had thought was a well hidden toy-bone-looking-object that is in fact a toy of sorts, but not a bone and not for dogs. No. Not for dogs at all.

So, now the routine is one of two: Put everything away. Very, very away. Super away. Away squared. Up high or in things that close and preferably that lock -or- Take her with us every time we go anywhere.

Both options have been time consuming but the Seal’s need to decorate is unstoppable and her style-choices are simply too bold for our taste.

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