just like jesse james » dog days

the bachelor and her dog, making it work

jessejames — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:39:07 +0000

(Inspired by and for Freedomgirl, at the serious risk of big ol’ kinds of trouble from Violet.)

What you see here is a classic: A boy and her dog enjoying a bit of cheese without all the messy use of utensils… or anyone around to get totally pissed off that I am taking huge bites of cheese right off the block and sharing them with the dog. See? Classic.

comfort kibble and dirty dishes

jessejames — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 21:27:13 +0000

The Seal and I dropped Violet and her dad at the airport oh so very early this morning. I didn’t intend on bringing the Seal but she has learned now that when Violet and I begin to stir before the sun is up this means that one or both of us will go missing for a few days. She is a pretty mellow dog for the most part but this morning she looked frantic, rushing around, trying to follow us both around the house wherever we went. And when she couldn’t stop hiccuping I realized she had found a new level of anxiety. So to help ease her constantly-flowing-waterfall-of-emotions-dog-brain I took her outside and made room for her in the car with her blanket. She caught on and immediately the tail was flying and she calmed down.

And now it is mid-afternoon and the Seal and I have done nothing to note. I gave the Seal a bit more breakfast than usual, comfort kibble if you will, and then I gave her a bone to chew out the nervousness with. I had beef stew and ice cream for breakfast and may or may not have that again for lunch. Pizza and beer for dinner, for sure. There are dishes in the sink that will stay there a bit longer than usual and I am still in pajamas. I am trying to make the most of things, right off the bat, to cover the anxiety I can’t shake about Violet’s trip. I know, I know, I know, it will all go splendidly and she will have a ton of great stories, and I am very excited for her. I just look forward to the part where she is back, safe and sound, and complaining about how messy the kitchen is.

On a different note, thank you kind readers, for all of the very sweet emails and comments regarding my sweet little fish friend. If there was an award for Most Fabulous Blog Readers, this blog would win for sure.

balancing the finer things

jessejames — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:47:20 +0000

(Inspired by and for the lovely Lady Brett…)

guiltless sleeping pirate dog

jessejames — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 22:13:03 +0000

Last week was not my favorite week ever, and has actually earned rank as one of the worst. So, as I went to bed last night I decided that I could safely assume that this week would have to be better. This seemed to be undoubtedly obvious. And so, even though I caught less than a few hours of sleep, spending most of the night and early morning staring at the ceiling, only to remember that I had a dentist appointment early this morning, only to drive a car that started smoking on the highway, only to find out that one poor tooth needs a bit of pricey help, only to come home and find my little shit of a dog, the Seal, who I love more than any four-legged creature on earth, had ransacked the place.

The point is, it is only 1:30 p.m. on a Monday and today has already been a little rough, but in the fresh wake of perspective, I have to say, I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. Not one. I am not very sure how (or if ) I will get the large smeared gobs of apple pie goo out of the carpet, but again, how lucky am I to have such simple concerns.

In case you aren’t totally sure what you are looking at here, today’s booty includes:

one large yellow onion
one empty pie plate that, earlier this morning was hosting a delicious apple pie
fresh ginger (which is good for digestion, clearly she knows this)
delicious goat cheese wrapper (in the pie plate, she is tidy like that)
one box of unopened shower curtain rings
a plastic dough rolling mat (now complete with ventilation holes in the form of chew marks)
one faggy rainbow coffee mug (the coffee is all over the blanket, so you can’t see that part)
one guiltless sleeping pirate dog

(As soon I finished typing the word ”dog’, just this second, she sat up, looked at me and burped. Nice touch, Seal pup. Way to finesse it all.)

Happy Monday.

soft spot

jessejames — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:58:19 +0000

I thought FOR SURE this photo was somewhere on this blog but I just went digging around and can’t seem to find it. This one is for Jen. As you can read on her blog, quite recently and unexpectedly she lost her best buddy. And if I can have this hard of a time even typing about a dog I didn’t know, from this far away, I can’t imagine what Jen’s heart is going through. I have been showering the Seal with even more love and attention this week, for Gracie, who might be the only dog ever, to have an even bigger smile than the Seal.

May the world be nothing but gentle and kind to you, Jen. Take care of yourself,

tour of fabulous: final credits

jessejames — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:20:47 +0000

(In order to preserve and maintain the high level of faggy queerness that I have very intentionally injected into this series, please click on the video below and count to fifteen before reading the final credits – it is just so gay and perfect that way, trust me.)

. . . . .

…And like every adventure that ever was, eventually there is – The End -

. . . . .

Tour of Fabulous: Final Credits (in order of appearance):

Part 1:

The oh so amazing and lovely, long time leading lady: Violet

My four legged shadow: the Seal

The reason I didn’t miss my flight: The SeaTac TSA lady that kind of hated me

Red backpack: As itself

Best hair product in the world: Not telling

Part 2:

Sexy smooth dude/ Ol’ school best buddy: Sinclair Sexsmith

Sweet girl that put up with Sin and me all week: Kristen

Partner in many a late night crimes, one of my very favorites, Park Slope pool survivor: Mikey

Crowd of fabulous on Friday night: Everyone that did not try to beat me up

Pool shark: Barb

Pool shark’s drunk friend: Suz

Part 3:

Very cool dude who threw an awesome party: JessHeIs

Lady who hypnotized me with her eyes and then fed me breakfast: Tina-cous

Snazziest dressed (by a long shot) at Jess’ party: Dr. Leo MacCool

Wonderful, sweet new friend willing to talk with me all night long: Freedomgirl

Doppelganger-Shane from the L-word: the DJ at Jess’ party

Part 4:

Lovely girl behind those green eyes: greg

greg’s dress: As itself

New long distance bff: greg’s girlfriend

. . . . .

TOF Director: Sinclair Sexsmith

TOF Producer: jesse james

TOF Executive Producer: the Seal

TOF Editor: Fraidy Phat the Fish

TOF Fact Verifier: Marcus the Raccoon

“Tour of Fabulous” Title Credit and Most Missed Blogger: Lady Brett

Onset Chef and Makeup Artist: Kristen

Windsor Tie Knot Maker and Hair Validator to jesse james: Sinclair Sexsmith

Cherday Sponsor: Thursday

(endless) Support Crew: Violet

Best Boy Grip: That’s what she said

*A special thanks to Sinclair Sexsmith, one of my very favorite people on earth, for putting me up and putting up with me for a week. You are a host with the most and one of my favorite ways to spend my time. And to all of you along this amazing vacation adventure, thank you for being so kind and wonderful and welcoming. I am very lucky to have met you and to have you all in my world. And thank you all for getting through all four parts with no one screaming “LIAR! I can’t believe you just said that about me!”

I very much look forward to TOF: The Sequel.

with love, of course,

jesse james

watching fall begin to fall

jessejames — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 00:42:56 +0000

Violet and jesse, chapter 4, page 1.

jessejames — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 12:00:56 +0000

Violetta,

As I tuck in the newest netflix under my arm, ready to watch a two hour documentary on African elephants. As I grab my glass of wine and the Seal’s favorite toy. As the Seal rushes ahead of me on the stairwell, spilling most of my wine, almost knocking me down. As I make my way up the stairs and on to our couch, where you are already camped out, without complaint at yet another documentary about African elephants. As I sit there with a tummy full of food that you and I have grown together, watered together, tended together, picked together and cooked together. As I sit there already wishing for dessert, right when you say, “Hey, what if I made some hot fudge for that bit of ice cream we have left?” As I put the movie on pause and watch you sail down the stairs like a sugarplum fairy, hair flying behind you, and that smile of yours that only a dessert can create. As I sit there sipping what is left of the wine that the Seal just made me spill, while she circles around and around and around on the couch making her fake little nest, as she plops down and grunts, like she does, and rests her heavy head on my lap. As I sit there and stare at the map of the world on our wall. As I am in awe again, like I am each time I look at the amount of ocean that use to sit between us. As I stare at that ocean and hear you clink and clank pots and pans in the kitchen, not even 40 feet away. As you holler up to me, “Almost ready! Do you want me to make you one or do you want to do it?” As I realize how wonderful and fun everything is right now, as it tends to be these days, more than not. As I say back, “You do it. I’ll love it… and promise to keep it to myself if I don’t.” As you run back up the stairs with two bowls of ice cream covered in freshly made hot fudge and that oh so proud smile. As I go to take a bite. As the damn dog takes a big lick of the corner of my spoon. As you wince and I say, “You know I’ll still eat off of this.” As you remind me, once again, of all the gross things that the Seal has licked that is now most likely on the spoon I am about to use.

As I sit here and eat ice cream with the hot fudge you just made, with a spoon that has just been licked by our dog , while I push play and we watch a sunrise in Africa and the narrator begins to talk. As you tuck into my arm, covering the half of me and my lap that the Seal hasn’t claimed. As I sit here right now, with you, and now the Seal too, I want to say thank you for the last four years. You make everything worth it.

love,

jesse

with all of my new spare thyme

jessejames — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 18:34:54 +0000

How to make something for your girlfriend that includes: getting to be outside, playing in the dirt, getting to dig holes, requiring no more help than a Seal or misc. domestic animal can offer, hammering (you really don’t need to do this, but it can be worked in if you really want to) and ending up with something green, growing and tasty.

This is the herb garden I built for Violet while she was out of town a few weeks ago:

First, I followed where the sun hit our yard for a day and found this little section to be the sunniest.

You can’t really tell, but I dug down and turned the dirt (soil, if you will) about a foot and a half deep.

Found some scrap wood and built a simple frame (do not use pressurized wood for food garden beds- the chemicals in the wood will leach and you don’t want to eat that stuff). I also bought a bag of chicken poop to amend the soil a bit. Food loves to grow in chicken poop and chicken poop loves to help food grow. The Seal is totally bored.

Added herbs, watered em’ and voila.

About a month later:

(Want to build one or something similar and have questions? Just email me and I’ll help you out where I can.)

one year with the seal

jessejames — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 02:24:37 +0000

This post is late. I am a terrible blogger these days. 1. It is too sunny to stare at a computer. 2. My computer got a nasty little worm and was at the computer doctor for a week. 3. I have been in and out of town and away from the internet for a lot of reasons.

Tomorrow Violet, the Seal and I are going to the San Juan islands for a long weekend. We went to the same spot about a year ago after having the Seal in our lives for only a few weeks. At that point I know the Seal must have been worried that she went from doggy-jail to cushy-new-lezbo-home to stuck-in-the-woods-homeless-with-a-couple-of-strange-homos all in a few weeks.

But after a year of being treated like a dog-queen (being the dog queen that she is) I assume the Seal will be more at ease this time, understanding that this is just a short jaunt to get out of dodge and play outdoors without having to wipe your paws before coming indoors for a few days.

Anyway, here are a few of my favorites of our new queen over the last year (that haven’t already been posted):