Last week was not my favorite week ever, and has actually earned rank as one of the worst. So, as I went to bed last night I decided that I could safely assume that this week would have to be better. This seemed to be undoubtedly obvious. And so, even though I caught less than a few hours of sleep, spending most of the night and early morning staring at the ceiling, only to remember that I had a dentist appointment early this morning, only to drive a car that started smoking on the highway, only to find out that one poor tooth needs a bit of pricey help, only to come home and find my little shit of a dog, the Seal, who I love more than any four-legged creature on earth, had ransacked the place.

The point is, it is only 1:30 p.m. on a Monday and today has already been a little rough, but in the fresh wake of perspective, I have to say, I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. Not one. I am not very sure how (or if ) I will get the large smeared gobs of apple pie goo out of the carpet, but again, how lucky am I to have such simple concerns.

In case you aren’t totally sure what you are looking at here, today’s booty includes:

  • one large yellow onion
  • one empty pie plate that, earlier this morning was hosting a delicious apple pie
  • fresh ginger (which is good for digestion, clearly she knows this)
  • delicious goat cheese wrapper (in the pie plate, she is tidy like that)
  • one box of unopened shower curtain rings
  • a plastic dough rolling mat (now complete with ventilation holes in the form of chew marks)
  • one faggy rainbow coffee mug (the coffee is all over the blanket, so you can’t see that part)
  • one guiltless sleeping pirate dog

(As soon I finished typing the word ”dog’, just this second, she sat up, looked at me and burped. Nice touch, Seal pup. Way to finesse it all.)

Happy Monday.