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As fall begins to fall here, quite suddenly I might add, Fraidy Phat the Fish and his new gang are slowing down quite a bit. The pond water tempature has dropped suddenly which signals Fraidy to start getting winter ready. He’s moving much slower and is eating twice as much. He’s like a bear-fish getting ready to hibernate.
This will be the gangs’ first winter and although they are all full grown goldfish now the winter tempatures can go on and on and on here making it hard for a greenhorn pond fish to make it.
I love these fish (a bit more than what some may see as “healthy”) and am doing my best to help them prepare.
I’m feeding them fishfood everyday now, turning on the little pond fountain daily and cleaning out the leaves and things at least once a day. I even made a pond canapy to keep the falling leaves out. I’m also hoping at some point Fraidy will tell them what to do when times get winter-hard: swim to the bottom, stay really really still and wait until it’s warm again.
Seems simple enough but I’m guessing their little fish brains aren’t even the size of a piece of lint and so I’m banking their chance of survival on instinct rather than reason. But what kind of instict does a little petstore-bred goldfish have? This is my concern and this is why year after year when the spring springs Fraidy is the only one left standing… or swimming in this case.
I have at least another month to fatten them up but then they’ll be on their own. All I can do at that point is wish them luck and hope to see them sometime in March.
I was talking to my godmother, Ruth, about the fish and she said she didn’t realize Fraidy was so much bigger than the rest. I guess I’ve never made that clear so I took a few photos for her and am posting them here too.
The fish gang are all the size of your average goldfish and as you can see, my man Fraidy is the super sized king of his pond castle.
Ok ok ok, I have been tagged, several times for several reasons and thus far have not participated. With NO offense to anyone who has ever tagged me I have decided to do this one, partly because I adore Lady Brett, despite her hesitations with dogs (come on Lady Brett, who in the world wants to poop outside when it’s raining?!?) and partly because I feel like I have the time… and I am flattered of course, to have been a piece of the net she would have a drink with.
So, ten honest things (off the top of my head and all quick like):
1. I am terrified of snakes. Not like really scared of them, like debilitating fear. The only two times I have ever fainted in my life both involved snakes.
2. I’m gay. JUST KIDDING. I mean, I am gay but that is not my real answer for #2. I was in a serious relationship with a girl for the first time at the age of 15. We dated for 4 years. I was 17 the first time I came out to anyone. The first person I came out to was my girlfriend.
3. Both of parents grew up in Hawaii. Don’t be confused, I am white as snow but have a pretty strong Hawaiian influence in my life. While most kids were probably adding spoon fulls of sugar to their cornflakes I was sprinkling it on poi with toast (which is pretty gross, no matter how much sugar you add). I also knew how to say humuhumunukunukua’pua’a (the Hawaiian state fish) before I could spell my own name or recite the pledge of allegiance.
4. I am left-handed.
5. When I was 4 I severed a tendon in my middle finger on my left hand. The surgeon took a tendon out of my middle toe on my right foot and put it in my hand. Works pretty well and I have some awesome scars that you just can’t get anymore. The foot part has never been an issue until just recently spraining my ankle.
6. I think Sarah Palin is awful… and hot. (AAAAH!!! I said it! I said it!!!… AAAAAAAAAAH!!!)
7. I have reoccurring dreams: about being bitten by a snake right on the scar on my left hand, that I am a jaguar that can run faster than a motherf*&^#er, that I can fly, that I am an incredibly amazing world class rollerblader, that I have long girly hair (which always freaks me out), that I am smoking a cigarette (which i have sworn I will NEVER EVER do again… ever), that I get stung by a bee and nothing bad happens, that I am making out with Alanis Morissette (her mouth has always scared me in a good way).
8. Three of my favorite things to do: skinny dipping, making people laugh when they are trying not to, kissing Violet (aw… whatever… but seriously.)
9. In high school I almost didn’t graduate due to one silly little missing P.E. class credit. This forced me to take a weight training class for 3 hours a day the first half of my senior year. I hated it. For two of the hours it was just me and the instructor. When the ridiculous class was finally over I took that standardized test thing and tested out as “in excellent condition for an 18 year old male”. I could bench press 5 pounds over my own weight, could do one-handed pull ups AND one-handed push ups and could climb a two story rope in seconds (like spiderman! Rock.)
10. I usually have a song stuck in my head. A lot of the time it’s not a real song but a song I’ve made up and can’t stop repeating for a while (these days it is usually about the Seal.) When there is no song stuck in my head I will catch myself singing “Dude Looks Like A Lady“
Tada! Finished. Aaaaaaah. Feels good. I am not going to tag folks but if you stumble upon this and feel inspired to share yourself with the internets, by all means…
Yes, this article is now technically old news but the controversy is not. I promise to chill out on this elephant stuff (not saying that the Seal won’t be dressed up as one soon. She is already practicing her elephant ROOOOAR which is quite good really.)
But come on, it is Cherday on the week of Elephant Appreciation Day and these are two of my favorite things AND this is my blog, so there we have it. And if there was a way to incorporate The Golden Girls you know I would.
So, anyway Cher, thank you for being a friend… of elephants.
Happy Cherday everyone! Happy Friday-eve.
I was so busy appreciating elephants yesterday I had no spare time to blog about Elephant Appreciation Day, which was yesterday. That, and I am still internetless.
I go on and on and on about elephants to Violet all of the time and she made me promise to get some of it out here. But again I am typing on my phone so I will just note 10 favorite facts:
1. ALL elephants live in matriarchs. Yes sir, ladyphants call the shots. Always.
2. Elephants have very close family structures and are highly social. Mothers and daughters, aunts and girl cousins will spend their entire lives together. The boyphants hang with the heard until they get horny enough to put the moves on a family member (this is usually in the teens). At that point they get kicked out and live fairly solitude lives.
3. The ears are their main cooling systems. Elephants have voluntary control over blood flow and vein constriction or expansion in their ears.
4. Another defense against heat is their skin. That’s why elephants are so wrinkly. Skin breathes right? So, the more you have the cooler you can stay.
5. There are only two elephant species left on earth: Asian and African. Their genetic relationship is actually quite distant which makes them pretty different animals.
6. Elephants are one of the only other animals known to pay homage to the dead. If and when elephants run into an elephant who has passed the entire heard becomes unusually silent as they all gently stroke the bones with their trunks and feet. They spend a significant amount of time with the skulls. Elephants have also been found attempting to bury the remains.
7. “Memory of an elephant” is a totally valid expression- except that our memory doesn’t even come close. Elephants can be found retracing long and complicated voyages (usually for food and water) that they are remembering exactly from over 30 or 40 years ago.
8. Elephants have seven sets of teeth. As they eat they eventually wear a set out and the new set comes in. If an elephant dies of old age it is usually because they have used up their last set and can’t eat properly anymore. (on average elephants can live around 70ish years)
9. The human body has about 640 muscles. The elephant’s trunk has over 40,000. It’s a tricky instument to figure out and takes years to learn how to use.
10. Dessert elephants (an African variety) are thought to be able to smell water. They will find a spot in the sand and dig several meters down- always uncovering water.
Oh man, I have SOOOO much more to mention… But I said ten so, tis all for now for you. Violet will be home soon, so I will attempt to hold my breath until then.
Happy Elephant Day!
My internet is STILL down. And by my internet, i mean the internet I use to steal from the neighbors. It has turned to a secured connection which means I am netless. After two weeks this has finally forced me out of the house and over to the coffee shop down the street. I much prefer doing computer stuff at the house alone with the Seal but what am I going to do? I need the net and this has forced me into a public space.
Speaking of the public and to my surprise and delight, I have been surrounded by some very strange folks today. This coffee shop is just one block from my house and my neighborhood is pretty cookie-cutter-seattle-normal. Everyone around here has one or more or all of the following:
A Subaru or a Prius. A dog (that is NOT a purebred and who was rescued from some pound). A child under 4 named Stella, Eli, Henry, or Jack, who is carted around in an earth toned REI stroller. An upcoming block watch meeting. A job at the university or a progressive organic coffee shop. Hooded sweatshirts that say things like “Go Green” or “Yes We Did”. Secured internet connections.
I have been here all day and no one in here seems to have any of the just mentioned qualifiers. I have spent some of my day looking for work and unfortunately, there are still no jobs for completely unqualified rad dudes who really want to work with elephants in or around the Seattle area. I will keep looking though. I have spent most of my day observing the foreigners that have been my company in this coffee house/ organic cafe/bookstore.
Weirdo observations for the day:
1. He just left, but there was a kid, (maybe in his teens? Maybe early 20′s?) slowly circling the same two book shelves for the last three hours. Three. Hours. He never even picked up a book. Weird. Or stoned, maybe? Or maybe he works here? Maybe he is suppose to be the undercover guy that catches shoplifters? In some respect he has a brilliant cover going. The skull and crossbones baseball hat makes him totally unsuspecting. But he also never looks away from the shelves which would mean he totally sucked at his job.
2. There is a man two tables over with a fairly poofy sweater tucked into his jeans. This doesn’t make him a weirdo per say, but it does make me feel totally crazy. I want nothing more than for him to look down at his waste, think, “Oh look here, I’ve accidentally tucked my huge sweater into my jeans” and simply untuck to both of our comfort and relief. This is my thing, I get that, but things like tags sticking out of the shirt or socks inside out just bother me and I want them to be fixed. He has been here a while and I don’t see an untuck happening.
3. It is a tad cold here today, cold enough to wear a locally made organic cotton sweatshirt even (and before anyone gives me shit for making fun, I am wearing one, ok.) So, in walks a man with a thick blue fleece and bright red Hawaiian print short shorts. Very short shorts. And hiking boots with wool socks. Both socks are right side out. He also has nice legs. Maybe he is a UPS delivery guy and pants just don’t feel right anymore?
4. An hour ago there was a man two tables down that had 5 books propped up on little book stands in a half circle. One was a bible of course. One was called Sisters and Mothers… I think – it was hard to see from this far away. I got up twice under false pretense to try and learn more but he followed me with his eyes and glared at me whenever I walked by. Even when I was just sitting here I kept catching him staring at me. Eventually I realized this was probably because I was staring at him. A lot. As he left he individually wrapped each book in plastic bags, stacked them according to size and carefully placed them into a back pack.
5. I just told Violet about the guy with the tucked sweater and she said, “So?” and about the guy with the short short Hawaiian shorts and her response was “That is lovely.” She is not here but she just made the list.
6. Me. I have spent more time wondering about and watching some kid circle the same two bookcases, trying to figure out what the guy with the books on the stands in a half circle was reading, making sure that the guy in the short short Hawaiian shorts has his wool socks on correctly and attempting to send telepathic vibes to the sweater man “Untuck untuck untuck” than I have done anything else today.
Clearly I need to get internet… or a job.
Here’s the deal- whoever I steal internet from has an issue with their router and is obviously less bothered by this than I am. It has been over a week now and I am going bonkers.
Right now I am typing this on an iPhone that I am totally addicted to but might not keep. And not only is the net down but my computer itself is AGAIN having expensive issues and is AGAIN having some PC surgery at the computer doctor that I most likely can’t afford… Shall I keep whining? Ok.
ISO new ankle. Must be fit with no prior sprains or breaks. Contact jesse. Thanks.
It has been over a month and my ankle and now other pieces and parts of my foot are clearly pissed off. I can walk for the most part but it hurts to and it will randomly swell and rebruise. Oh, and for all you who commented and emailed me with concern, thank you and I did eventually go to the doctor. She thought itcwas just a bad sprain but has since changed her mind to ‘not sure.’ I have an appointment with a foot doc next week to see what is up.
Besides being computerless and one footed life is going quite well.
Randomly, a few days ago I found a poor little disoriented baby squirrel looking quite exhausted and looking more like a cat treat than a lost baby. So, of course I decided I needed to help little Jose out somehow.
I have self diagnosed myself with anthro-guilt complex (made that up but it sounds spot on) and I take it very personaly when animals (yes, this includes bugs) are in need.
I called some wildlife folks and did what they said to do: get him in a box with a warm towell and put the box in the tree you think he came from.
Turns out mama squirrels are fairly maternal but won’t come to the ground to get their babes- now we know.
Anyway, after a good long and needed nap little Jose jumped out of the box and started climbing the tree, crying for mom. He looked rested and like he had his squirrel marbles back. I haven’t seen him since but have a good feeling about it. Ah, the life of the bleeding-heart-unemployed.
And yes I did ask Violet if we could keep him and yes she cut me off mid-sentence with a do-not-even-sort-of-kind-of-consider-this “NO.”
Happy Cher day, everyone! Happy Friday-eve!
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