I am apparently soooooo gay that when the nice young Jehovah Witness’ guys come to my door and I answer they say, “Um, hi. Oh, um, sorry… ma’am. We, um, have, um, the wrong address.” And they turn and walk away.
Sure, ok. Whatever. But ma’am!?!
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My name is jesse james and this website is just like me. read more about me
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12 comments
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July 16, 2009 at 12:42 pm
ladybrettashley
hahaha! how very gay. but, apparently, not quite butch enough
the only time the jehovah’s witnesses came to our door i was sick, in my bathrobe, wrangling a cat and a dog. it wasn’t a very productive conversation. though, when jake joined us and asked, they did tell us we were going to hell in the absolute nicest way you can possibly imagine. which was, you know, nice.
July 17, 2009 at 12:29 am
Wess Green
JWs do not believe in hell. So they wouldn’t tell you that. What else about your experience is untrue?
July 17, 2009 at 10:29 am
jessejames
Woah there, cowboy, a lot of religions believe a lot of things and the same religion might even believe a tad differently down the street. And with all of these beliefs, it has been my experience that a lot of religions say and do a lot of things that they say they don’t say or do what they say they don’t do. And to some degree, we all do, right? So, let’s take it easy before we pop up on a blog and attempt to call my friends out on experiences that are theirs, not our own, huh? Thank you kindly. -jj-
July 16, 2009 at 12:50 pm
twoladiesinwaiting
I prefer that when someone tells me I’m going to hell, they do so nicely. That way I can continue to delude myself into believing that everyone likes me.
By the way, how is it that being told “you’re going to hell” is so much worse then being told “to go to hell?”
July 16, 2009 at 1:46 pm
greg
Too funny!
Someone once told me that I’d be the one driving the bus into hell. hmm I do like to drive but I’m terrible with directions.
July 16, 2009 at 6:53 pm
jessejames
These are some of my favorite comments (including the one shana just left on the post before this one.)
Lady Brett, there was a seriously long and awkward pause in the sweet boy’s decision to go with ma’am but in fact he did go with it… so yes, I hold butch as an adjective and so I guess I have to make room for the world to as well. But ouch, right? I mean, when in doubt, go with ‘miss’ for god’s sake!
twoladiesinwaiting, why is that so much worse!?! Maybe it’s because they are eluding to actually knowing that you are going there instead of just wishing for it?
greg, I’ll google the directions! I call shot gun! What an honor to have been deemed the driver of the bus to hell. I bet you could sell place holder tickets and sell out in minutes.
July 17, 2009 at 9:17 am
e
Hilarious! And the comments!!
We had a pair of Mormon missionaries stop by the other day. Me, my butch gf, Deb, her baby dyke gf, and a brawny football playing butch friend were all standing on the porch when they walked up. I took the opportunity to question them about their church’s funding of PropHate. My football playing friend told them, “I’m a pagan, but I know that God made me this way and loves me for who I am. Too bad your church can’t accept that.” They didn’t stick around for the lesson in tolerance, acceptance and sisterly love.
Greg: I’d like to purchase a pair of tix and I’ll totally be your navigator! I’m great with directions and maps…
July 17, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Tina-cious.com
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
July 17, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Blazer
What I love is that when they tell you that you are going to hell, they think that it is breaking news or something. I usually make some comment that this isn’t news to me but that the reasons for the future trip are not those they seem to think. Usually followed by silence.
July 17, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Colin
Your visitors must have been Mormon, or maybe Baptist? Both of those religions (as well as many others) believe that God would punish people in an burning hellfire. However, that does not jive with the holy scriptures.
First of all, God is love (1 John 4:8), and that would certainly not be a loving thing to do. Also, according to Jeremiah 7:31, that idea never came up into God’s heart.
The word Hell comes from the Hebrew word, Sheol, and the Greek word, Hades. These 3 words all refer to the common grave of mankind (Job 14:13, Dy; Rev. 20:13, 14, AV).
Interestingly, the Bible says that Jesus Christ went to hell when he died. (Acts 2:27) And Job actually begged God to send him to hell where he would then patiently wait to be raised at a later time. (Job 14:13,14)
According to the scriptures, when we die, we are totally unconscious, in a sleep-like state (Eccl 9:5,10), where we await the time when Jesus will call us out to a resurrection on a paradise earth. (Psalm 37:11,29; John 5:28,29; Rev 21:4)
So we ALL go to hell.
Although you may not choose to look up the verses cited above for yourself, at least now you know that Jehovah’s Witnesses (who go by the Bible, not traditions handed down by men) absolutely do not believe in eternal torment in a burning hellfire. So if that’s the hell your visitors were speaking of, it was definitely not a Witness at your door.
(For more info on what J’s Ws believe, click on http://www.watchtower.org/e/jt/article_03.htm)
July 21, 2009 at 8:36 am
e
That’s funny. I thought the Bible was written by men…
July 20, 2009 at 6:41 am
ladybrettashley
oh, goodness. i didn’t intend to start anything or disrespect anyone. i was, actually, using “going to hell” in a figurative sense, which – as i do not believe in hell either – is the only way i ever use it. sorry for the confusion, dears.