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(I promise this blog will not turn into post after post of pictures of the Seal balancing things. That said, she obviously has a natural talent so don’t be surprised if every now and then you run into a picture of her with something new on her head. And yes, I am fully aware that the idea is a total copycat of Dooce’s Daily Chuck. Chuck is a dog of great talent and the Seal looks up to him. And like Chuck, only novice, the Seal happens to be able and willing to balance things on her head as well.)
This is my dog, the Seal, with her frog.
The frog is on the dog because the dog loves her frog… and peanut butter biscuits, which were given to the dog every time the frog stayed on the dog’s nog long enough to take a shot for Jesse’s blog.
What a good dog with a frog on your nog for my blog. Very. good. dog.
The picture quality is terrible but the Seal kicks equilibrium’s ass! I ended up taking the picture with the camera on my phone as the Kongball, which is the Seal’s teddy bear of toys (besides her frog, which I’m sure we will be balancing soon), was not staying up there long enough for me to grab the real camera. We’ll get there though. Oh yes. We will. My guess is that we are just a few balancing acts away from pseudo-Chuckdom! (That dog has talent!)
Just look at those eyes. She’s staring at me like, “Jesseman, you got it all wrong, dude. The ball is supposed to go in my mouth! Not on my face. How much you had to drink, anyway? Regardless, I love you so unconditionally and with such reckless abandon that I will sit here with my favorite toy on my face (instead of in my mouth, where it goes!) while you point your phone at me, chanting, ‘stay, stay, stay’, like I could really not ‘stay’ right now without dropping my Kong on the floor, where you’ll be all, ‘Duuuuuude! So close! Ok, let’s try again’. My only hope is that you can tell how much I would appreciate a little peanut butter dog biscuit or two, for my efforts in entertaining your inane activity.”
The Seal not only got a handful of peanut butter treats but we also had a celebratory dance party in the kitchen. I don’t think she really understands why I was so excited, but I also don’t think she cares. I mean, who needs a reason to dance?
Truth be told Sinclair has been in town. Thus, I am not just an excuseless, absent blogbraindead blogger. We were very busy running up, on, and all around the town together.
Our first stop entailed my ditching work early to meet her at a bar where we immediately began devising a rough draft on how to solve all of the world’s problems. Which we eventually did. Finding these solutions took a few hours and included a few drinks in the process, which means, unfortunately we no longer remember all of the answers. But this late afternoon conversation, accompanied by a few Jameson’s, did eventually inspire us to stumble into the new H&M where we both proceeded to look amazing in everything. And so, logical at the time, we ended up buying the whole fucking store… in our particular color schemes, of course. Sinclair was all, “Dude, you have to get that!” And I was all, “Sin, seriously, that shirt is more you than you!”
So, with world peace in the wings and entirely new wardrobes, we went back to my place to play butchboi dress up before our second round of out-on-the-town.
(What you can’t see clearly in these photos is the hottie-mohawk that Sin is now sporting – simply butchilicous!)
Once the Seal finally approved our individual outfit choices (Violet was stuck at work that night) we fled to meet the entourage that is Sinclair’s groupies. Fortunately for me, a lot of them are my friends too and the rest turned out to be fabulously interesting and fun to be around in general.
After a few hours of burgers, banter and beers our next stop was the obligatory drink at the lesbian bar. I hadn’t been to this bar in quite some time and was immediately reminded that 1. I am glaringly-very-not 20something anymore in oh so many different ways and 2. I have no desire to ever, ever be 20something again, let alone in that single scene. My reasoning for this is all personal and coming from an internal place, mind you. The girls were plenty cute and being out too late on a Thursday is plenty fun (now and then) but damn if I didn’t land a perfect 10 with Violet… is all I’m sayin’.
Much, much later than planned, Sinclair and I stumbled back to my place, slurred our hello’s to Fraidy and to a very-excited-to-see-Sinclair- Seal. I snuck into bed with Violet, Sinclair fell onto the less than comfy guest bed and we both crash hard and fast for those few hours in between right then and the start of tomorrow.
Next morning I was off to work and she was off with family. And that, my friends, is how we roll.
I had just fallen asleep when I heard Violet, who was obviously thinking with her eyes closed, start to mumble:
V: “In my head, green trident and celery are the same thing.”
me: “…Um… what?”
V: “I guess that’s because of Texas though.”
me: “Right, of course.”
V: “Even with the foil.”
me: “Ok, Violet, goodnight.”
V: “…Hehlerrrvyuherrrrrrr.”
me: “I love you too, darlin’. Sweet dreams.”
I’m a few hours away from leaving for my vacation with Ruth. I have made the bold choice to go on this vacation sans computer. I want to see what time away from staring at this screen may or may not do for my soul (is it really sucking it out or does it just feel that way? We shall see). Not to say I won’t jump at the chance if there happens to be free internet somewhere along the way. But, in case there isn’t, and I am internet-sober for this entire trip, you may not hear anything from me for a week or so.
This also means that the staff here at jljj is off the hook for a bit too. Violet, Fraidy, Marcus and the Seal can all rest assured that any and all follies, cute gesture, slip ups, and pooping of clothing will go undocumented for a brief bit of time. Is this to their relief or less reason to get up in the morning? They will have to figure that out and let me know. Regardless, I will be back soon and will promptly begin to overly observe and document my little family… and then, I’ll blog about it all… like I do.
And just remember, although Thursday may come and go a few times, Cher loves you.
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