My new thing is to download the most recent This American Life onto my IPod and listen to it during my commutes to and from work. This new trend started because 1. I am sick of every single song I own and 2. It’s just a great show and the stories make my ride to work so very enjoyable.
So, last week’s show was titled “A Little Bit of Knowledge” and the theme was how people (everyone, at some point) will talk like experts about things they don’t know much, if anything about. The prologue covers several people’s stories of what and how they found out too late in life that they had false information about something they had been spouting about all of their lives.
One woman, in her twenties, learns from a crowd at a party that unicorns aren’t real after wondering out loud whether they were endangered or extinct.
Another woman had always thought that the X-ing signs were pronounced “Zing” and also learned the truth in an embarrassing manner way too late in life.
One guy lived his life thinking that the Nielson ratings were only conducted by families with the last name Nielson. Again, lesson learned too late and out loud.
Listening to this show this morning had me laughing hard enough to look like that crazy person on the bus and have mentioned it to several people since – who then offered up their own examples, which have been hilarious.
Mine you ask? Two have come to mind today:
1. When I was little my dad told me that the foam in the ocean was whale pee and it seemed more than believable at the time and so I never questioned this until my early twenties, while at the beach, running away from a very foamy wave, yelling to my friends ”AAAAH, WATCH OUT FOR THE WHALE PEE!”
2. Until two years ago I thought it was “for all intensive purposes” (rather than intents and purposes)
Two of the best I’ve heard so far today:
“Flash in the pants” (instead of pan, of course)
“Cufflings” (as in little baby cuffs, instead of cuff links)
Now it’s your turn.

15 comments
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July 17, 2008 at 3:07 am
J
None that come to mind immediately, but what a good episode (I was also the crazy person stiffling my laughter on the bus. Luckily that’s quite mild behaviour for the buses my way.)
July 17, 2008 at 6:54 am
sinclair
I’ll have to think on this one. what comes to mind immediately is the story of my Aunt Rhubarb. The story goes that when I was little, I met my uncle’s new girlfriend whose name was Barb (Barbara of course, but she went by Barb) and I said “oh, like rhubarb!” but until I was about 15 I actually thought her name was Rhubarb.
I also remember Melissa Ferrick telling the story of thinking it was a “doggy dog world” rather than “dog-eat-dog.” were you at that show with me? in Seattle, at that place by i-5/denny where Nirvana used to play … ?
I <3 TAL.
July 17, 2008 at 6:55 am
sinclair
(My aunt actually went by Barbie as a kid, and her brother’s name is Ken. No joke! Love the family lore! But it turns out my uncle (a different uncle) didn’t actually have the hiccups for 17 years like I always thought, it was more like 7 days. Ah, how legends are built!)
–
Dude, you never corrected that story with me! This is how I find out! 7 days?!? THat’s it?!? I have told this story several times, you know. Damn. I kind of wish you had left me believing in the 17 years because that is just a fool proof good story. -jj-
July 17, 2008 at 7:37 am
muse
when I was a kid, I remember entertaining myself on a car trip by singing along to a Roy Orbison song: “only bologna, knows the way I feel tonight… dum dum dum dumbey doo wah…” and being confused that everyone in the car was laughing at me.
my mother never fed me bologna, thank goodness. but like all children I was aware of its existence, and didn’t think it was strange Roy had a special love for it.
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AH! That is so sweet! I use to think that Sade song, Smooth Operator, was about a really good phone operator, who connected Sade’s calls so smoothly that she wrote a song for her. -jj-
July 17, 2008 at 8:17 am
ladybrettashley
hmm…i’m sure there are others, but the one that always comes to mind is fl. oz., which i was amazed to find out stood for fluid ounces. as i child i was certain that it was floral ozileraters (if only i knew where i got that idea).
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Um, I’m 31 and have no idea what that is. Is that made up? What is it?? You were a little smarty pants as a kid, huh?… even when you got it wrong. Impressive. -jj-
July 17, 2008 at 9:01 am
alongstory
Until I was about nine, I thought pot was the good cigarette. My dad had cancer, it made his tummy feel good. My mom had a husband who was dying of cancer. It made her feel as good as she could. So while I could pout and complain when Mom smoked her Merits. I shut up when the good cigarette was lit.
Then, I found out what it was and thanks to an ABC Afterschool Special and/or the overall suffocating desire to have your parent be JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE’s parent, I immediately became a little narc. I hated it. Planes would fly over our house in the middle of nowhere and I’d run out on the deck and hover over the fern plant with the side “crop” growing in it.
Then I got older, and found out like we so often do, that my mom was right all along.
—
Those after school specials ruin everything. Did you ever see the one, “What if I’m gay?” My gawd, if that didn’t straighten up a few homos. It’s awful.
July 17, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Jupe
I am just going to go ahead and spit this one out – It is NOT “for all intensive purposes”??
Also a bit shocked about the Unicorn news but luckily it’s not completely out of the blue – I have had my doubts about them for the last year or so.
I used to think there had to be a “front of the line” in traffic. I always wondered who was at the front, how they got there – like how early did they have to get up to be the first?!?! And when we were on a road with no one to see ahead of us – I would let out a cheer of success.
This isn’t a perfect example because I didn’t really carry it much beyond my youth (only 25 or so..) but still humorous for me to think of.
ps – I am serious about my belief of the “all intensive purposes.” That is so funny…..
—
Wow, I love the traffic story! Even as an adult i still don’t quite understand why there is non-moving traffic. I mean, if we all fit on the road and we all just drove, where is the not moving part coming from? And rush hour? What a stupid name for it really. That is exactly what is not happening.
And even though I have been corrected and now know it’s “intents and purposes” it just sounds wrong and changes the meaning so drasticallly that I still say it my … eh hem, I mean, our way. -jj-
July 19, 2008 at 6:57 am
black and blue
Real Estate. As opposed to False Estate.
I pronounced it real EState (emphasis on first syllable of Estate) in 4th grade for a story problem being read out loud. Got laughed at of course. I mean, I had head the phrase “real estate” but thought it was spelled reelestate or something. When I saw it written, it seemed like real EState to me!
Same with the word “abruptly”. Pronounced it “aBURPtly” in my head when reading. Once again, this was only corrected when reading aloud in front of the other 3rd graders, and getting laughed at.
July 24, 2008 at 10:38 am
freedomgirl
This one is long too. My mom told me that her dad developed ‘boarding house reach’ when he was young and lived in a boarding house where the food was served family-style at dinner. Competition was fierce for the eats, so his right arm grew longer than his left due to the constant reaching for dishes.
We went to visit him (I was maybe 8) and my mom asked him to show me. He held out both arms straight in front of him, hands touching. Lo and behold, his right arm was 4″ longer than his left!!!
What a hoax. They were obviously in cahoots with that one! I didn’t figure it out until I was in college. Try it yourself — and see how easy it is to fool an 8-year-old.
July 24, 2008 at 10:43 am
freedomgirl
so that smiley-sunglass-face is supposed to be 8 ). damn smart techie things that I don’t get…
July 24, 2008 at 7:55 pm
anonymous
I was a precocious child and read all the time. I would often read out loud to my parents in the car, and they would tell me when I mispronounced a word. Unfortunately, I would often reply, “ig-NORE-ance is bliss!” they laughed at my supposed joke, and never told me it was really pronounced “IGnorance.” Boy, that was an awkward day in college.
August 18, 2008 at 9:57 am
muse
another special moment in the “embarrassing public revelation that you’ve misunderstood words in a song” category:
maria carey’s “ken lee”
She gets a pass because there’s a language difference involved, but it still cracks me up.
August 21, 2008 at 8:31 am
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November 30, 2009 at 8:49 am
ladybrettashley
postsecret made me think of you:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_a7jkcMVp5Vg/SwyGqAejlzI/AAAAAAAAKcc/B19PcBqgs9k/s1600/gimp.jpg